My little town

Finally.  Call me gross if you have to, but that bone sticking out of my gums I was complaining about?  Yeah.  Pulled that shit out.  SO MUCH BETTER.  It felt like it was the size of a nail, but it was really tiny.  Whatever.  I feel like dancing.

I was going to the post office yesterday morning and gave mom a call and told her if she needed to go, we could walk together.  I expected to walk to her house first, get her and walk to the post office; however, I no sooner crossed behind Cory's Repair when I heard a familiar bellow, "JEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!" coming from the park.  Sure enough, there she was in the pagoda waving and screaming away.  I waved and abruptly turned in her direction.  The town upkeeper guy was doing upkeep in the park and was chuckling when I crossed the street.  Mom waved again, obviously still scream-hungover because she was still communicating louder than necessary, "Your Late!"
Me:  "Yeah, I needed to get these titters under control.  It's hard work in the heat."

Mom agreed and we resumed our trek to the post office.  Upon our arrival,  we met up with various townies, people I like to call "The Early Morning Shufflers."  These are people who either live in town or close to town, well past retirement age who trek up and down Diamond Street doing whatever it is they do before noon.   Most of the time, they are all congregating at the Dairyland Cafe for coffee and breakfast, though Ellie's bar is always open bright and early for the handful of visitors who like a little kick to their coffee, or the Shufflers who like the fellowship of the Ellie's crowd, the stronger coffee, and the freedom to sit and visit without taking up space in the cafe.  From there the shufflers usually take a stroll to the post office to pick up and drop off mail, usually ending up in a circle for morning hellos and general chatting and time wasting.  Among the visitors is the owner of the village general store and her cashier who just comes out to smoke.

We gently push through the millage with waves and hello's, pausing every step or so to talk about the weather, various aches and pains, "How was your trip to Colorado Pam?"  "What are you mailing off today Jessie?"  And the ever popular, "Uh oh, here comes trouble."

When we finally get to the desk, there is my favorite postmaster, Jackie, who saw me coming, and got me mail confirmation papers out and the roll of super awesome tape I always end up reinforcing my boxes with, and the big, red, FRAGILE stamper.  Whew.  Then there is the task of weighing, telling a story, laughing, pushing buttons, giggling, filling out papers and pausing to tell more stories and giggle some more before we are finally done and our mail is sent/picked up.

Mom:  "I'll treat you to coffee this morning?"
Me:  "Sweet, I never say no to coffee."

So into the Dairyland we go and find a seat.  The owner, who I can never remember her name...damn...but who's husband is affectionately called "Rambo" is sitting at her table getting ready for the rush.  The waitress, Sandy, grabs her order pad and sits down at our table, crosses her legs and settles in for a visit.
Sandy:  "Ugh its such a scorcher out there right?"
Mom, always so good at keeping up these conversations, enthusiastically agrees while I am without the first cup of coffee this morning and am starting to zone out to the tune of heat waves and English muffins.  Despite this, I obediently nod as well in time with the conversation.  Sandy gets up and grabs us 2 mugs of coffee. brings them back over and settles back down to resume the conversation.

As I pour creamer into my coffee my ears pick up to my mom, "I just squish my shirt up under my boobs like this."  (demonstration)
Sandy:  "Oh yeah, me too..  And then when it gets really hot like this, I get this sore almost rash right where my bra rides in my fat roll right here? (lifts the side of one breast and points).
Mom:  "Oh my GOD, I know.  Tenactin.  Tenactin is awesome for those spots.  I used it on Ronnie all the time."
Enter now, some guy who went to school with my sisters who looks familiar, but obviously knows mom well enough to sit down at our table with us.
Guy:  "Hey you."
Mom: "Hi guy, are you Mona's kid?"

I sip at my coffee as Sandy gets up to pour New Guy some coffee.  I turn to the town paper while mom visits.  Obviously the boob sweat conversation started back up again since New Guy offered up Gold Bond powder advice.  Across the cafe (its a pretty small cafe), an older lady with big purple hair chimes in about the heat and how it gives her headaches, Gold Bond or not.

It isn't long before the entire cafe is in on the conversation, all with horror stories about heat rash and crotch rot.

Before we know it, its getting late and I need to get home to start work.  On the way out, non stops at the purple haired lady's table to say goodbye.  Evidently they go to quilt guild together.  Again, more heat talk and I patiently stand to the side waiting for mom to finish being a Shuffler.  Behind me an older gentleman pokes me in the elbow.  "Hot enough for ya?"  Not even lying right now.

Mom's voice gets a little more loud, signifying she is making it clear that she needs to go.  I hear "Well, you  need to go stick your head in a bucket of ice!" And the two of them start cackling as mom and I walk out.  As we cross out into the street, the guy who was talking to me called over to the purple haired lady and asked her what was so funny.  Purple haired lady gladly was regaling the story as we shut the door.  Two steps from the door, we hear the whole cafe roar with laughter.

Needless to say, this is a typical morning in Ridgeland.  I have to say I enjoy it very much.  I love this town.  for only 700 people, you have every kind of person you can have.  Everyone knows everyone else and no matter what your flaw, we are all friends.  We can all get together and talk about tits and pits and grimy ass over a cup of coffee and a stack of toast and it's totally okay.  We can go to church with bare feet and spend the better part of the service dancing, playing and visiting.  After, we push all the pews to the side of the sanctuary and have 3 hours of Ninja Warrior class.  We have homeschoolers, unschoolers, hippies, and holistic healers.  We have drunks and fighters, talkers, and stalkers.  That one guy who cant get through a sentence without saying fuck thrice, even if the sentence is fuck.  The convicted murderer who heard we had no air conditioning and brought us a window unit this morning out of the blue, to use through the heat wave.  The early morning alcoholic who stops in to visit while he drinks his morning Irish coffee to stop his shakes. John and Ivory (the neighbor and his dog) who walk by 4 times a day and stop in to visit every time.  Everyone looks out for everyone else, no matter who is around, you are never alone and never in danger.  If someone steps out of line, there is always someone else nearby to help you out.

 I never thought I would like being a townie, but its pretty awesome here.  I get such a kick out of this town.  I love my woods and cabin time too,  but Ridgeland is so much different than Boyceville, the town I had originally judged all other towns and the town I grew up in.  The people here are go-with-the-flow, let it all hang out, say what you want and people will either laugh or think you are completely nuts and laugh anyway.  Rarely will anything be taken personally and if it is, its usually forgiven shortly after.  Boyceville, well Boyceville is just a bunch of snobs.  Tell a tit story in that town and just see what happens.