Today Curt cleaned the 3-season porch. It was kind of the final catch all for the last bit of whatever when we moved in--things that never got put away. There is still a couple of things like, the chair my mom gave me that needs to be redone, the porch swing I kyped from the old house because my dad and I made it, Emma's giant horse, the toilet we got to replace the one thats is here, hundreds of wine bottles for slumping...anyway, one of the things that was stuck out there was a dollhouse my grandfather made for my mom when she was little. I used to love it and play with it all the time. About 6 years ago I completely redecorated with new wallpaper and carpeting and new tiles on the floor along with a nice new coat of paint. Rebecca played with it for a while, but soon enough it started getting abused and just like my mother used to do with me when I started neglecting the dollhouse, I wrapped it up in garbage bags and put it up in the barn. Well, today I let Yaya open it up and play with it. There is no furniture anymore, so I told Yaya she had to make her own. She did really well for her first attempt at 3-d sculpture. I may get some balsa wood and help her make some nicer stuff, but until then, she has been quite content building what she has today:
A bedroom. The book was a little wooden thing that I had in a box and was never used
No reason why we cant enhance the situation with a couple real miniatures.
The bathroom, complete with toilet and
reading material.
The kitchen
Lucas even got in on the action and made a bird feeder.
I got a package in the mail today from a swap partner for the travel mug swap. She made me a travel mug with a big sunflower and my name on it.
I also got some organic mint tea, some valentine candy (that went to the kids) and some home made dried cinnamon apple bits that I ate too many of, paid for it, but it was really good and a pair of fun socks.
It was a really nice surprise after arguing with Dean today over doing some dishes.
Ahh Dean. Curt and the other kids decided to clean the house while I worked my shift today, so I could just relax. Dean was on the computer the whole time. he never even acknowledged that everyone else was working hard, nor did he bother to feel the least bit guilty. I looked at him finally and said, "You should go help clean up you know."
"I didn't make the mess."
"No, you don't eat here, shit here, shower here, use my heat, my stove, my washer dryer, throw stuff in the trash..."
"What the hell are you tripping about?"
"I want you to NOT be a selfish pig and help. It will take 5 minutes."
He replies with nothing, but continues to sit there and play his stupid computer game. This, of course eats at me until I am fuming.
I said, "You know what, get off my internet and turn off that game that I pay for right now. You don't deserve it."
He said, "All right you know what? I'm just gonna leave. See? Fine. I'm gonna fuckin leave your mouth. See? I'm leaving PEACE! PEACE! I'm fucking out of here."
Can I just say at this point that I can't wait until he is 18 and moves the hell out? Is this horrible of me? Yeah. Its horrible, but it certainly does not dissuade me from thinking about what I'm going to do with that extra room minus the spoiled, entitled, smart mouth.
He hasn't come back and to be honest, I don't see him showing up at all this weekend as long as he has his friends he can mooch off of. This is his proof-that-he-doesn't-need-the-likes-of-me moment. I know he wants to see his girlfriend this weekend. I will not be driving him. Right now he is trying to prove he can survive just fine without us at home, to justify his point that he NEVER makes a mess. He can't, however, survive without Tony who gives him rides all over for free or that guy who buys his cigarettes--for free. At some point I hope his friends get wise to his mooching and tell him to get a fucking job or something. GOD he makes me so mad. He is so self centered and selfish. Like hes entitled to everything without even saying thank you, without even washing a frigging dish after himself. I have no problems taking care of him, its my job and my pleasure, but a little teenie bit of...something. Help me carry in groceries once in a while without me having to ask. Stop assuming that he does not use anything in this house, therefore does not have to do anything to help. He has more than I ever had and still thinks I'm a bitch. He even steals money out of our pockets and purses. No foresight at all as to what that money might be for, we have it so it should go to him evidently. So far hes been caught twice in the last 2 months and owes us $50 in stolen cash over and above the 60$ he owes my mom for paying his lawyer for that Addarall thing he did. I'm glad he's not home. I do not like him at all right now and will voice it if given half the chance.
I guess he won't mind then that I took the Tivo out of his room and gave it to Lucas since he doesn't use it anyway. I mean, who needs cable now adays? I suppose he won't mind that I stopped paying for his Runescape account--since he can obviously take care of that himself. I made it clear I won't take him to Amber's house, nor will I pick him up. He will make sure I know he could care less, then turn around and whine to his friends about how I'm a moody psycho, which I am now. I wouldn't be if he would have just gotten up and helped clean the friggin house with Curtis and the kids instead of acting like an asshole retard gangster declaring to the world PEACE! PEACE! as he walks out the door.
Like walking out on his angry auntie is going to grow daisies and make me shit rainbows.
I don't want to think about Dean being a jerk right now. I've dealt with this for 3 years, why should it change now? I just sit here, make sure he gets to school and has what he needs and I count the days until he is 18 and he will, as he says, "get the hell out of here." I hope God and my sister don't strike me down with lightning when I wave on his way out the driveway. Don't assume my rant is without any love. I love him more than anything, I want him to have every advantage, but I am so tired. He will never know how tired until he has his own kids and realizes he's not that different than I am. I wish I could somehow make that point before he has kids. Tomorrow would be nice.
I think what makes me so mad is the fact that he had a conversation with my sister about how Curtis does not help me enough and I am left to do it all and how he is NEVER going to be like that. Uhhhhh...duh? Sooooo, when are you never going to be like that?
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