Raspberry ninja---away!!!!

Ooooooo I am a raspberry ninja!  As you well know, I am a great supporter of Aldi and all its fine cheap food.  I especially like to go into the frozen section and grab up all that frozen fruit and hoard it away.   Hoarding it for winter...like a squirrel, because the loggers are tearing up my 'hood, there is a pretty accurate guarantee that all my berries are hiding until further notice.  Okay, so berries.  I especially like to get the frozen raspberries because you get a big ol' bag of frozen for the same price as a teenie weenie plastic box of fresh at Wal-Hell.  The thing is, the raspberries are kept in the same area as the triple berry blend bags, which are great, but just raspberries are a such a good deal, more rare, more...coveted.  Anyway, I'm not the only selfish chick that walks into Aldi with raspberries on the brain, because I very rarely get out of that section of the store with any more than a couple bags of strawberries and tropical blend...the triple berry blend is a-plenty having been plucked through and forgotten in lieu of the more desirable raspberries.  I had yet to meet the other squirrel.  I'm sure I would know them because their cheeks will be packed with bags of frozen raspberries. 

Anyway, today I crashed into the store with a face lit up with anticipation and hope. The wheels of my cart smoking from the friction as I ran down the isle in the direction of the freezer.  Today is my day.  Those raspberries are MINE!.   Just as I rounded my second corner, I stopped as a small child holding some toilet paper crossed in front of my cart; revving my engine I looked to my right and saw her. GASP!  The other squirrel! Formidable she was.  Probably a baker from the looks of her- no stranger to whipping up a bunch of cream puffs for a sick neighbor, or baking a quick layer cake for the grandkids.  GAH! I have no time for the likes of her!  I have soy smoothies to make! Trail mixes! Crazy good-for-you stuff that involve frozen raspberries and healthy eating success stories!  She saw me too and read my mind.  Oh yeah bitch...you are so ON!

We both raced to the freezer crashing carts.  She had the look of an experienced bargain hunter about her, but I was younger and faster.  As we reached for the freezer handle, an awkward "Tee hee, oh excuse me...tee hee, you go, no you, no you...tee hee" passed between us.  It was all a farce.  She wanted what I wanted and it was just a matter of who wanted it more.  She reached for the handle again just as I grabbed her walker from the cart, unfolded it and did a handstand on the handles.  Waving my feet all ninja-like managing to catch her in the temple with my big toe, knocking her out cold.  I was so awesome that that small child from before dropped their package of toilet paper and looked on in awe.  With my nemesis out of my way, I was able to open the freezer.  BEHOLD!  3, count them, 3 whole bags of raspberries were left.  I took them all and put them in my cart.  Then took out a triple berry blend bag and handed it to my opponent for her head, shaking her hand and congratulating her on a good fight...Ahhhh sweet success, no pun intended. 

Tomorrow, I go to the bread store.