1. There are an awful lot of coffee grounds in the coffee today. I wonder if something malfunctioned in the pot someplace...
2. Dad comes home today. I am just getting some coffee in me before the kids and I bundle up to shovel and plow this morning.
3. Bella really loves snow. She runs around chasing little wads that fall off the trees, but its pretty obvious her naked little body is not well equipped for snow. I hate dog outfits. Dressing your dog up really irritates me and I feel bad for the dog. How embarrassing; however, I'm wondering if a sweater would be necessary for Bella so she can stay out long enough to do her business and play a little. My mom made a blaze orange hunting coat for her dog. Maybe she still has it someplace...
4. I made the trip to town yesterday to the local food harvest that is put on by the church I grew up in. For 15 dollars you go in and come out with 3 boxes of food. It's pretty awesome and every little smidge helps. Unfortunately, It is a long process and you tend to have to stand around for a long time before you get to "shop." I only go if I have a day to kill. Yesterday was fun though and I met all kinds of nice and interesting people, squeezed a few babies, shared some canning knowledge and learned a little sign language. I also brought my hats in for the coat distribution. It was so fun to see them in action. I wish everyone made it a goal to wear a fun hat in winter :) I want to make a section in my etsy shop for hats I think, making the proceeds from a a hat purchase go 100% to Food harvest, Coat Closet and Jesus Overflowing. The lady that runs them is probably one of the most awesome people I have ever met, she truly loves everyone and cares. These are her babies and they have helped so many people. I've become so cynical over the years, not wanting to belong to a church because I see...attitude? There is no grace anymore, no tolerance...I don't know. But whenever I have participated in LuAnne's mission, it has always been whole hearted and without boundrys. I guess I really want to support that. Support LuAnne...hm.
I've struggled with a couple things the last few days in terms of helping people. Firstly, there is a man that comes here often to visit with Curt and sometimes asks for work for a day. He is homeless and lives in his van. At one point in his life, he ran a successful body shop and, I believe, had a wife and a kid. My dad remembers him and knew him very well. He is an alcoholic and bounces from place to place to work for 5, 10, or 20 dollars and then he drinks it all away. More than once he has come here at 8 in the morning, looking for a job to do, but really wasn't able to help much because he was either drunk already or had the DT's and was shaking. Here is where I struggle. I want to help him and let him know he is worthy and has a place in this world, but I know that after he does whatever job he does and gets paid, he will bypass food and everything for a drink. Am I just enabling him by feeding him a hot meal every day and giving him a job? I think yes and no. I think that sometimes people like this come to rely on the fact that they can get by in this way because someone is always there to help them. They are willing to live like this because they can and this, while miserable to some of us, is okay with them because it's where they are comfortable. the thing is, this is where they will stay until THEY take the initiative to take FULL advantage of the help they get and make things better for THEMSELVES. So, In a way I'm not enabling him to stay where he is. He could take that hot meal and 20 bucks and put it away, go into the hospital and get some help drying out and continue on that way until he had some money saved up to function. He is very good at body work. He could do great things with what he knows and eventually help others. It's his choice to go on the way he is. is he taking advantage? Maybe. Does he expect the help? Probably. Does he like how he is living? No. But he is in control. Until he takes control, I'm okay with making sure he has something to eat other than beer.
My very good friend takes care of her family in this way and I know she feels that she is being taken advantage of. She is angry and for good reason, but I am afraid her anger and bitterness is going to push her away from the people she loves. I don't think she is angry so much because they constantly ask for her help, but she is more angry because she took the initiative to change the situation and pull herself out of the situation she grew up in. If you don't like something, change it. Sadly, her family is in the comfort zone. they wish for better, but are not willing to put in the effort. Because my friend loves them all so much, she continues to help, but her feelings are hurt when her family continues to need despite the help. The more she helps, the more they need. Sigh. I see this situation and my heart goes out to her.
Torn between the right thing to do and the right thing to do...
The only thing I know to do for her is to help her and maybe, by making it easier on her, it won't be so frustrating for her to help her family. Unfortunately, she is strong and independent and I'm not sure that she saw my offer to help was for her benefit, not her family's. Sometimes the helper needs the help and support to help them help. :)
5. It snowed last night!! it's probably time, though we are never really ready...lol. when have you ever said "let it snow" and meant it?
For the gentleman looking for work, what if you paid him in restaurant gift cards? McDonalds, or the local coffee shop? Somewhere there isn't alcohol served. This way, you are ensuring that he will get a hot meal in his belly.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea, but I'm not seeing him going for that at all. We live 30 miles from any restraunts like that and, to be honest he does offer up his own supplies and tools when he can and, living in his van, he does need cash for gas to stay warm at night and to get to all the places he does work at. Since I have never heard of him being without gas for his van, I assume he does budget a bit and he has always paid us back should he borrow any money from us of if my husband fixes something for him. I think though, if we tried to pay him with food cards, he would not come here at all. First of all, he would think we are being cheap and trying to cheat him out of cash I think. while he is down and out, I think he has some pride and does not want to feel judged by receiving what "I" think he needs, not what "he" thinks he needs. you know? I think he does deserve an honest day's pay for an honest day's work. I'm not sure that I would put in much of an effort for a job that payed me completely in food or maybe in my case, diet pills, or in my husband's case, nicotine patches...whatever my boss thinks I "should" have. I think you have a really great idea here and your heart is definitely in the right place, but, like I told my husband when we were talking about it one night, we need to do what is right and help him as gracefully as we can, making him feel in control of his life and not embarrassed or judged. We need to feed him and pay him the money he earns and help him when we can. This is between us and God. What he does after that is between him and God. We are no longer a part of the picture. It's so hard, I think, because we want to see our efforts fix things and make it all better...
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