excuses

My husband has an excuse for everything.  He is never at fault, he never lies, he is never, ever a hypocrite-Ever.  Never. 
The whole conversation started with Lucas.  I made him take a walk with me and he absolutely hated every second of it.  He lagged behind, drug his feet and pretty much made the whole endeavor less than what I needed it to be.  We had a good time though as after I started getting tired and slowing down, we ended up playing "stalagmites of doom" which is what the snow in the ditches look like now-stalagmites-and anyone getting too close to me, would end up being thrown into the stalagmites and eventually getting their bloody remains eaten by the swamp vermin that lived in the pussy willow bushes beyond the stalagmites.  It was a fun little game. 
Anyway, I brought up this walk-hatred to Curt, as conversation and he proceeded to bring up Luke's eating habits, his sneaking food, his overeating, et cetera-something I really have no idea what to do about.  I was just like him when I was a kid.  if it was out there, I ate it.  If I was told no, I would eat it more.  If they locked it up, I would pick the lock and eat it anyway.  So, to be honest, its a sore subject for me, especially since the one complaining about it is an enabler, which of course, I brought up.  "Well, I'm an adult and I can monitor my own food."  Oh really?  Is that why you make a sandwich with 1 pound of ham on it?  Pour yourself a box of cereal in a mixing bowl and eat it until your stuffed?  Use 1/2 cup of chocolate syrup in a 12 ounce glass of milk?  IS THAT HOW YOU MONITOR!? "Yeah, well, I don't eat all day so I can do it how I want."  Oh fuck you.

See what I mean?  Excuses.

The other day he wanted his proxil brush-a kind of toothpick with bristles.  If he would put it away, it would be in the same place every time he needed it.  "It was on the counter right here!" I put it away ON THE COUNTER!  Really?  So the box (it comes in a pack of 5) was in the drawer of the tall thing (linen closet thing) and there was one left.  "NO! I used that last one the other day and I threw the box away!!"  So, what did you do with it?  "I put it on the counter right there!"  * head desk*  Tonight I opened the drawer in the tall thing and saw the box that the proxil brushes were in that was supposedly thrown away.  So I said (because I can't leave this shit alone)  "So, you threw this away huh?" 
"well, I thought you meant the box that was in THAT drawer." as he pointed to a completely unrelated drawer that I would never store a box of proxil brushes in, nor have I ever.  So, he lied about the box in the first place, lied about throwing it away and then to cover up his lie, he lied about there being a box in the hairbrush drawer; however, should you ever just outright call him a lier, he will get all pissed off like the world is completely over and he will never speak to you again.
This is what I live with.  Excuse man.
Mom gave him a chair to put caster wheels on.  He never took it out of the car.  for months I drove around with this stupid chair.  Mom finally took it back and there were excuses as long as my arm as to why he didn't do it. 
Luke bought himself a VCR from a thrift shop.  It needs to be cleaned and hooked up.  he swore he would do it for Luke 2 days ago.  Swore it would be done by this miring.  its not done.  He's too fuckin busy pushing the button on the fuckin remote control to do anything extra for anyone and will not do anything extra until someone gets pissed and then, it STILL probably won't get done. 
Asshole.