Well, 2011 is gone. Sigh. What a relief. With as many times as I came to the end of the world last year, 2011 just dragged on and on like a slow book. I did survive quite a bit this year though:
* Surgery on January 18th and all the drama that came with that.
* I lost a whole person's worth of weight.
* My dad in and out of the hospital and seeming to decline.
* Dean turned 18-FINALLY and the last guardianship accounting has been turned in. I am officially done with THAT. Now, to just get him in college and out of this house...Not that I'm ready or anything. *See LJ entries from 2008 through 2011, keyword: What the fuck and Holy shit what happened to that cute kid? All in all, I am proud of him and love him very much, but I have 2 more coming into teenager-hood and if I don't start weeding out the drama now, I'll never make it through Lucas in 1 piece, let alone Rebecca. I am absolutely convinced that God makes teenagers for the sole and undeniable reasoning behind "cutting-the-apron-strings." They are all babies first, to give you something to look back on fondly and make you love them to desperation so they can hurt you more when they turn into selfish thugs later. I sound heartless, but I have had many conversations with my dead sister about her son (usually involving a cigarette and sitting in the dark outside where I can be alone and vent to the sky freely) and I am always crying and apologizing for whatever it is that I do so very wrong. I remember just before she died, there was conversations between us even then, about how difficult he could be. Maybe she knew even then what I was up against and she was just able to bow out before it got weird.
So, yesterday the doctor called to comment on my ankle phenomenon and informed me that if this continues, or if I have palpitations regularly, I can go back on Strattera. Pft. Evidently the insurance will cover it if the other one likes to try to kill you. Friggin' insurance.
So Christmas with the in laws went okay. No one was really on any nerves. I did have a moment post diner when I was helping my vegetarian sister in law clean all the meat off the turkey and, trying to get as much meat off as I could, pulled the carcass apart only to have her freak out BECAUSE I pulled the carcass apart. As a side note, there was a ton of meat on that bird left (at least 4 sandwiches worth or more) and I was raised in a house that did not waste even the smallest bit of food because we had none and as such, if I would have tried to throw that bird away with as much meat as was on it, I would have gotten my ass beat. To pull that bird apart was second nature and I was just doing what I would do if I was home. Somehow though, my sister in law, though I love her and find her to be one of my very best friends, can often succeed in making me feel weird and inadequate and sometimes almost dirty because I hunt and can and forage and can poop in the woods, and camp and well, pretty much everything I do is unclean? The bird cleaning was one of those moments. Despite this uneasiness though, I do enjoy my sister in law and her husband very much and despite the fact that we are polar opposites, we have so much fun. I drank a lot of wine in an attempt to numb my brain as much as possible. I figure if something dramatic did happen, I would be too hammered to notice. My plan worked very well and we survived the Christmas.
Yesterday I made Russian Tea. I remember my mom making it for me when I was little and if I wasn't feeling well she would give it to me. Oh, I can't even tell you how I missed that smell or that flavor. There is a lot of sugar in it though and since sugar makes me sick now a-days, I need to try to make a sugar-free twin* or, only have a sip on occasion and be happy with that. Anyway, the kids really like it and the mix recipe makes many, many gallons for only about 5 dollars.
So, recipe for a cheap, pleasant drink mix, my mom's Russian Tea:
3/4 cup instant lemon tea mix
1 1/4 cup sugar
2 cups orange tang
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
Mix thoroughly and keep stored in tight container.
Use two or more teaspoons to 1 cup of hot water
*For sugar free tea, use sugar-free instant lemon tea and sugar-free orange drink mix. Omit the sugar (or) use half as much Stevia or Splenda and add the other spices as you please.
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