I am trying to change myself a bit. I believe you can change yourself to get what you need and so, here I am. I'm tired of being so negative and angry. I'm always angry with Curtis. Have I changed so much that we just aren't compatible anymore? He walks by me and gives me the occasional kiss and hug, but then ruins it by making a big mess and leaving it. He never picks up his spit cans (HATE) and an excuse for everything! Well, I would have finished making pancakes, but the spatula is lost. So, leave the batter, the box of mix, the dirty shit laying around and forget it? fuuuug. My mother, bless her heart, tells me the same thing every day. they are nothing but grown up kids. You can't expect anything from them. If you don't expect anything, your feelings won't get hurt anymore. Ugh. I've written this so many times. I need to change something. It has to be me obviously, because it's never going to be him for any substantial amount of time.
So, here it goes. Good morning! This morning, I got Yaya out the door for school and helped her and Dean open their advent calendars for today and taught Dean how to say "Santa" in sign language. Who says 18 year olds can't be taught anything :) and all before 8:00.
I washed all my bedding last night. I love clean sheets and blankets. My mom says I over wash my blankets and that's why I can't keep a quilt. She's right, but at the same time, my skin just can't take dog hair and skin cells and I have a potty training 3 year old. I draw the line at sleeping on an aired-out pee blanket. Noooo. I don't care how they did it in pioneer days, my crap gets washed regularly. I didn't pay 2K for a huge washer dryer to have piss blankets. So, I slept really well last night with my orange scented bed...sigh.
Yesterday morning, Emma lazed in bed for a long time. She does that sometimes, so I wasn't really concerned. I was in my closet sewing some things for Christmas, when I heard the familiar gurgle of a toddler throwing up. I walked in just as a big pile came spewing out her nose. She freaked out because she couldn't breathe and I did what I could to help her calm down and get air. It was a very long 5 minutes of gagging and gasping and a ruined blanket (in the wash now), before she finally stopped throwing up and was able to breathe again. I'm sure her little nose was on fire and she was scared. I wrapped her up in the blanket and carried her downstairs. We both got in the shower and got ourselves cleaned up with a lot of hugging and crying. While I tried to get her dried off, she wanted to lay down on the floor and she was very pale. Four more times she threw up yesterday, each time completely bypassing the bucket I had in her lap...sigh. I have a lot of laundry today. Oddly though, when I hung up the advent calenders yesterday and showed her how they worked, she perked right up. 10 minutes later she was drinking ginger ale and 30 minutes later she was asking for food. Weird. The only evidence that she was sick at all yesterday was her voice was a little hoarse last night at bedtime. I gave her a Triaminic strip (the only cough and cold medicine she will swallow voluntarily) and went to bed.
We got the tree up last night and put out all the little Christmas do-dads. I have this Santa that dances across the floor and I turned it on, thinking Emma would love it. WRONG. She screamed her head off. Evidently it is the single most scary thing she has ever seen (since the Halloween scull guy anyway). So, I turned him off and he just stands in the corner. Emma was PISSED though and there was a full 10 minute rant in baby talk peppered with pointing at me, then the doll and the occasional "GOD!" and "PRAP MAMA!" and "Scary Dammit!" I did eventually tell her to stop swearing and clean up her mouth (my fault--I'm a pirate), but not before I spent the better portion of her rant with my face buried in a throw pillow laughing until the tears came down my face. There is nothing more funny than getting your ass chewed by a 3 year old.
Before bed, I got the entire upstairs clean, fresh sheets on all the beds, vacuumed and my closet back together after digging out the Christmas stuff. The downstairs has a lot to be desired, but my upstairs is good :) All this AND I got my lines in yesterday. I know. I rule. Today I work, get all the laundry done and I suppose we have to do the ugly clothes drinking night thing since we didn't make it to the turkey frying thing on Thanksgiving. I know it will be fun though. It always seems to be fun when you don't want to go and then do.
No comments:
Post a Comment